Opposites Attract
by CatwomanNY
Summary: Don Flack falls in love with Danny's ex. What happens when Danny realizes he wants her back? It's rated M for language and love scenes. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: OK, I forgot to put a disclaimer on my other story, but I'll put one on this one. Nicole Sullivan belongs to me…the CSI: NY characters, unfortunately, do not. I have no money. Please do not sue me. I just couldn't resist the beautiful blue eyes of Don Flack (Eddie Cahill). They are a force of nature, sucking you in until you are hopelessly addicted.

There are no real spoilers except some minor ones for the second season and is rated M because I can't write a tame love scene. So, enjoy what has been rattling in my head for a while. Read and Review. Thanks! --Cat

It was a hot summer afternoon as Nicole was called out of her meeting. The last thing she wanted to be doing on a hot August Friday was going across town in a cab, but for a client like Harry Mitchell, she grumbled, but she went. She billed out over a hundred hours a month for Harry so when he calls, her secretary had instructions to pull her out of any meeting, even if it is with the managing partner of the law firm about her advancement.

"Nicole Sullivan." The detective at the door stopped her with a smile.

"Detective Don Flack." She returned the smile. "How are you?"

"Not as good as you apparently." Don smirked as he admired the perfectly tailored designer suit she was wearing. It was a far cry from the off-the-rack deals she wore as an ADA. Not that she ever looked bad, but she just looked better. Private practice really suited her.

"Same job, same scum, just a different side of the aisle, and better pay." She laughed. "What's going on here?"

"Depends on who your client is, Nikki."

She rolled her eyes. "More answers and fewer wisecracks, Flack."

"We're executing a search warrant looking for evidence of a murder."

She took the paper from his hand. "Tell them to pack it up. Anything they find I'm going to get thrown out. David Mitchell hasn't lived in this house for ten years."

"Witnesses saw him here two days ago."

"Where's my client?"

"Not here, Nikki, that's why we're searching."

Again, she rolled her eyes. "Don, David Mitchell isn't my client. The owner of this house, Harry Mitchell, David's father, is."

"Then he's out back with Mac."

"Great, thanks." She pushed by him with a smile and quickly made her way to the back of the expansive brownstone, her black pumps clicking on the hardwood floors.

"Nicole, thank god you're here." Harry Mitchell, a forty-five year old millionaire with piercing blue eyes and a well-toned physique, ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair as he sighed. "They think David's been here." David, his twenty-five year old son from his first marriage, had made a wrong turn somewhere in life, probably while he was working.

"I know." Reaching into her briefcase, she pulled out a packet of papers. "Detective Taylor, here is a copy of a restraining order and the trust documents stating that David Kenneth Mitchell is not allowed within fifty yards of this address without testing clean and I can assure you that he has not done that in years."

"Witnesses…"

"Yeah, well, whoever your witnesses are they are mistaken. Besides, they'll never stand up after cross. Tell your guys to pack it up."

"We have to follow every lead we have, Counselor. And witnesses state that David was here two days ago."

"While I was in Hawaii. Tabitha must have let him in." Harry sighed again.

"Who's Tabitha?"

"The housekeeper. Today's her day off."

"And that's the last thing my client has to say to you." Nicole fumed. "Now, give me a minute with my client alone."

"Nikki, they've torn the place apart looking for god knows what and that detective has been grilling me for the last twenty minutes."

"And you did the right thing by calling me, Harry." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "But I can't help you if you keep telling the police everything. Now, I know all the CSIs who are in your place, they're good, but you have to keep your mouth shut from now on. Let me do what you pay me to do." She smiled softly at him.

"OK."

"Hey Mac." Nicole smiled as she walked up to the lead detective again. "Look, Harry feels responsible for his son's behavior and wants to help you solve this case but I want assurances that anything you remove from this dwelling will be returned in the same condition it was seized."

"I can't make any assurances, Nick. You know that, but I will give you my word that my people will do their best to be careful."

"That's all I ask." She smiled. "Sorry we had to meet again under these circumstances."

"You chose these circumstances, Nikki." A voice from the past came from behind her.

"Yeah, I might have, but I didn't choose to leave my friends, Danny." She turned around and stared at her ex-lover.

"Friends? How can you be friends with people you turned your back on? How can you call people friends when you try to discredit them at every turn?" It had been three years since they'd last spoken civilly, since the night she'd told him that she had accepted the position with one of the top law firms in the city as a defense attorney.

"I never turned my back, Detective Messer." She seethed and stepped closer. "I did what I had to do for my career and the betterment of myself, and for that, I am not going to apologize."

"Enough! Both of you!" Mac jumped in. Had he known Nikki was going to be on scene, he would have never allowed Danny to cross the tape. The wounds from three years ago were still fresh for him, though Mac didn't know why, and Messer always seemed to pick a fight when they were together.

"I will have your badge if you continue working this case, Messer! Detective Taylor, I want him off this case!"

"Done."

"You can't do this, Mac. You don't take orders from her." Danny protested.

"No, I don't, but I can't have your personal shit interfering with the case. You're personally biased and I can't have you tainting the evidence. You're out of here. You're now working the John Doe case with Stella."

"You have no right, Counselor!" He screamed at the five foot eight inch blue eyed blonde in front of him and stepped closer, but she just glared at him. In those vast blue orbs that once conveyed such love and admiration, he now only saw hatred and condemnation.

"Come on." Flack grabbed his friend by the shoulders and walked him out to his car. "What's going on, Danny?"

"What's going on? What's going on the fact that she's on some power trip and trying to mess with my career."

Don pushed him back against the truck. "Danny, I know you two dated, but it was three years ago. What's going on?"

"Forget it." Danny threw his kit onto the passenger seat as he got inside and drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

A month later, Flack noticed the familiar and beautiful blond attorney outside the courthouse. "You seem a little lost. Can I give you a lift?"

Nicole smiled as she turned around. "Hey Flack, how are you?"

"I'm good, but you didn't answer my question. You look like a woman who's been stood up.

She laughed. "No, I'm fine, thank you. My car should be here soon."

"Your car?" He raised an eyebrow with his patented smirk.

"Yes. I have a client who insists that I use his car service to take me to our meetings." She smiled back at him. "Rain Check?"

"I'm going to hold you to that, Nikki." He smiled again as the black Town Car pulled up.

Two weeks later, Don watched as Nicole walked into the precinct and scanned the bullpen smiling when her eyes met his. "Hello, Detective." She said as she sat down next to his desk.

"Hello, Counselor." He laughed slightly. "What can I do for you today? Or, better yet, whose case are you here to shoot holes in?"

"What happens when I say yours?" Her smile turned into a grin as she looked right into his amazing blue eyes.

"I'd say you got some bad information because I just wrapped up my most active case." He leaned back in his chair and admired her smooth lines. How had he missed that after working with her so many years? Where was he that he missed her porcelain skin, radiant blue eyes, warm smile, long legs, and silky blonde locks?

"Damn. Then I guess I have to tell the truth. I'm here to take a statement from Mac. He told me he'd meet me here instead of at the lab or my office. Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, he's in interrogating a suspect. I'm sure he'll be out in a minute. What case is this on?" She just leaned back in her chair and smiled again. "OK, not on something business related." She winked at him as she shrugged. "Since that's the case, how about I take you out for drinks after you two are done? It's Friday, it can't be seen as any conflict of interest."

"Flack, are you asking me out on a date?" She grinned and leaned closer to him.

"Am I under oath?"

"Do you need to be?"

"Of course not." He smirked.

"Then answer the question." She held his eyes and could see the same uncomfortable look she saw in the eyes of prosecution witnesses on cross, but she suddenly heard Mac's voice behind her. "Saved by the blue wall." She stood up and looked back at him. "The answer to your question is yes. I'll be out in twenty minutes, if you want to wait."

"I've got plenty of paperwork to keep me busy."

"Thanks for coming." Mac walked her into an interview room. "It's been so crazy that having you come here was easier."

"No problem. When I heard about what happened to Aiden, I knew there was going to be fall out. I'm glad you called."

"I never expected a wrongful death suit." He sat down across the table from her.

"I did. Her parents are angry, grieving, and they need someone to blame. So, they go after the deep pockets and the ones they can inflict the most pain on." Mac didn't say anything, but she didn't expect him to. "OK, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and I need you to answer them fully and honestly. I am your attorney, Mac. Anything you tell me is privileged and confidential. I can only discuss this case with who you give me written permission to."

"I've dealt with lawyers before, Nick." Mac looked at her and smiled ruefully.

"Someone looks like they could use a drink." Don watched an hour later as Nicole walked back out to the bullpen without the spring in her step or the smile on her face.

"That's the understatement of the day."

"The bar's down the block."

After the second Bailey's on the rocks, Nicole began feeling the welcome effects of the alcohol and her smile came easier. "Thanks for this, Don." She lightly touched his arm. "There are just some cases that hit you in the heart and you can't detach."

"Believe me, I know, Nikki." He took her hand. "And you're welcome."

She switched to coffee and by the time they reached her apartment, she was sober enough to grill him again. "So, do you have an answer for me?"

Her blue eyes sparkled and he couldn't help himself, he played along. "What was the question?"

"The question from before. Was this a date?"

"Does it matter now?"

"I need to know so I know how to end tonight."

"OK, the answer is yes. What do I win?"

"Depends on what sort of move you make."

Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers and she didn't pull away. Rather, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her sweet red lips closer to his, waiting until their mouths slightly parted before pulling away. "How was that?"

She was virtually speechless. "Um," Nicole composed herself, "that will get your calls returned."

He grinned and kissed her cheek. "Good night, Nikki."

Two days later, Nicole found herself back in the same interview room, only difference was she was in there with Danny. "Are we going to do this or are we going to rehash our history?" She rolled her eyes.

"I've got things to do, Counselor." He stood up.

She blocked the door. "So do I, Detective. I've got to save Mac from having this judgment ruin his life. So, you can stand there, continuing to be a macho ass, and watch your friend and mentor escorted from the lab because he's a liability, or you can answer a few questions. The choice is yours, Messer."

"Let's get this over with." He sat down again.

"I wasn't planning on taking all day." She rolled her eyes and started her questioning.

"How'd it go?" Don walked into the room after he watched Danny leave.

"Once I established that the world doesn't revolve around him, it went well."

"Come on, let me buy you dinner and you'll forget all about this."

Nicole smiled as she stood up. "That is a really tempting offer, but I've got to get back to the office and type this up."

"A quick bite isn't going to take that long. I promise." She stared at him before smirking and nodding. "Good, then we can call this our second date."

The second date lead to a third, and then a fourth, and by the time six weeks had past, they weren't even calling them dates. It had become a normal occurrence to meet for dinner, or drinks, or just to be together. Don had stopped wanting to even look at other women and Nicole was happy when he suggested that they might want to become exclusive. The timing was right.


	3. Chapter 3

"What's up with the 911, Messer?" Don questioned his friend as he walked into the lab.

Danny pulled him into the hallway and handed him a file. "Are you going to be OK with this? I can go alone." Nikki's prints had been found in the home of a murder victim. That was more than a little suspicious since the man was her client.

"No." Don shook his head. "I'm fine. She didn't have anything to do with this. I know her."

"OK, then let's go."

"Nicole, there are two detectives here to see you." Her secretary's voice came over the intercom around one in the afternoon on a bright spring day. It wasn't atypical to be visited by New York's Finest.

"Send them in." She stood up and did a double take when she saw Danny walk in with Don. "Detectives Flack and Messer, which client of mine are you interested in speaking to?"

"We need to speak to you, Nikki." Danny sat down and glared at her. "You didn't tell me the whole truth about your relationship with William Montgomery, did you?"

"I don't know what you are implying, Detective." She glared right back at him. She could give as good as she got. "I told you everything that I know. The story isn't going to change simply because it's two days later. I was at his penthouse for about two hours. We went over some legal documents over a couple of plates of linguine and calamari he had brought in from Fertelli's in the Bronx. When I left, he was very much alive."

"Is it your common practice to share a bottle of wine with all of your clients?"

His attitude was beginning to get to her and she suddenly began to wonder why Don wasn't jumping in. "Will was a friend, Messer. I know it's hard to believe, but even defense attorneys have friends."

"I don't know about you, Flack, but my friends don't send limos to pick me up and I don't share a bottle of merlot with people I'm filling out paperwork with."

She rolled her eyes and was prepared to rip into him, but regained control of her Irish temper. She had finally figured out why Don wasn't coming to her defense. He wanted to know if she was stepping out on him. "All right, Danny. You want the whole irrelevant story, you've got it." She took a deep breath. "Two and a half years ago, Will and I were lovers. We met one night in the elevator and started seeing each other. He was the client of a partner in the firm. When that partner died three months later, Will requested me personally and our relationship turned into a strong friendship. So, yes, I shared a bottle of wine and dinner with William Montgomery two nights ago, but that is all we have shared in two years."

"Do you sleep with all your clients or just the rich ones?" He was seething. Two and a half years ago would have been right after she'd walked out on him. How was he to know that she wasn't sleeping with the twerp while they were still together? It was better that Don learn everything about her now before he made the same mistakes.

"Damn it, Danny! What do you want me to say? I screwed up? I didn't! I was a broken woman three years ago. Will was able to put me back together after you threw me out. I took this job because you proposed marriage and there was no way we were going to be able to make it on what we were pulling in. I thought I'd work here a few years, get a nice nest egg, and then stop working when we started our family. I defined myself by us, Danny. We'd been together for two years before that. If you remember, we met on your first day at the lab. I didn't remember a life without a Danny and Nikki. I had even practiced signing Mrs. Nicole Catherine Messer. Then, suddenly, I come home and tell you that I have a better job that is going to make our lives a little easier, only to have you start screaming about me selling out and throwing everything away. I didn't know what to do, Danny. Will showed me that I am a damn good attorney and I am a strong woman who can function in life without a man. He was my friend. I was not sleeping with him and I most certainly did not kill him. Is that enough truth for you?" She screamed at him and watched his face soften slightly. "Now, get out of my office, and the next time you want to talk to me, you can call my attorney."

"No, I think we have all that we need." Danny stood up. "And Nikki, for the record, I'm sorry about your friend." It was as close as he could come to apologizing for making her life hell for the past three years. He had honestly thought that she was looking to put the bad guys back on the street, to undermine everything he did. He had taken it as a personal attack when she hadn't meant it that way.

"Thank you, Detective."

Two days later, Danny watched Nicole walk into the precinct with her usual determined stride. She was looking for a client, not for Don. "Can I help you, Counselor?" He actually smiled.

"I'm sure you can, but the better question is, will you?" She gave him a sideways glance.

"Nick," his smile faded, "I really want to put the past behind us. Please. Let's start from scratch. OK?"

She finally looked him in the eye and nodded. "OK, Danny."

"OK." He smiled again. "So, before I hand you off to some unsuspecting colleague, I think I should tell you that we caught the guy who killed your friend."

"I hope you crossed all your T's and dotted all your I's because I don't want some defense attorney like me getting the guy off."

"Actually, Flack was able to get a confession so the guy pled out." He touched her arm for the first time in three years and she just smiled at him. "So, whose day are you here to ruin?"

"Detective Monroe called me and told me she had one of my clients."

"Oh, you're here about the yuppie killer." His smile was gone and he simply pointed to where Monroe was standing. It was still hard to imagine her on the other side of the aisle.

"How do you live with yourself?" Lindsey Monroe screamed at Nicole three months later. "How do you live with the fact you helped put a murderer back on the streets?"

"Excuse me, Detective, but I don't know what you are talking about." The reality was that Nicole knew exactly what the irate brunette was screaming about, but wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging it.

"I'm talking about you letting David Sheridan walk free. What were you thinking?"

"Detective, I was doing my job. You might want to try doing yours next time and maybe it will stick."

"How dare you!" She slapped the blonde across the face as Danny pulled her away, still fighting to get at her. "We had evidence of him at the scene, he had blood on his shirt, and he ran when he saw us coming."

"Maybe next time you'll gather that evidence after obtaining a warrant because speculation and circumstantial evidence does not make a conviction, Ms. Monroe. And for the record, I'm going to press charges for assault against you."

"Nikki…" Danny pleaded with her.

"What, Detective? I should let her get away with assaulting me because she's upset about a case? I don't think so. Let her spend the night in lockup and maybe she'll understand what my function in this system is."

Don walked into the bullpen just after the slap and watched as Danny hauled Lindsey into another room. "Sorry I'm late, looks like I missed all the fun."

"Mac sure hired a winner with that one."

"Do you want me to call off tonight?" He knew how worked up she could get.

"No, Donny, I want to meet your folks. I'll be fine after you do me a huge favor."

"What do you need?" He grabbed his coat and they began walking out.

"Before we go into the restaurant, I need you to plant one of your spectacular kisses on me or else I'm going to be drinking way too much."

"I don't know about that one, Nick, you may be asking too much from me." He grinned as she did and he was happy to oblige five minutes later after he had parked the car. "Better?"

"One more should do the trick."

"Now you're just getting greedy." She laughed as he leaned over and kissed her again.

"Sullivan." Nicole answered her cell phone reluctantly the next morning.

"Nikki, it's Danny. Look, I know it's Saturday, but I wanted to talk to you about Montana. She was just a little upset that the case went south. I need you to drop the charges."

"Danny," she sighed and regained control of her temper, "I planned on dropping the charges on Monday, but I need Monroe to understand that she can't fly off the handle the way she did. She conducted a warrantless search of my client's personal property. Maybe she can get away with that in Montana, but not in New York. I wouldn't have stood for that when I was a DA, I'm sure as hell not going to stand for it as a defense attorney. So, go spring your girlfriend and give her my warning. There is only one get out of jail free card in the deck and she just used hers. If she pulls this shit again, I'll have her badge."

"Thanks, Nikki, but she's not my girlfriend. I'm just worried about her."

"Danny, you called her 'Montana' when her name is Lindsey Monroe and if Stella had been the one to overreact like that we wouldn't be having this conversation. So, you go get your girlfriend, have your rescue sex, and leave me alone." Hanging up, she settled back into Don's embrace as he kissed her forehead. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Danny woke me up. What did he want anyway?"

"He wanted to spring his girlfriend out of the slammer by getting me to drop my charges. I was never going to go through with them. I mean, for god's sake, I would probably have to defend her."

Don laughed and kissed her, fully meaning not to stop, but it was his cell phone's turn to ring. "What?" Listening for a minute, he nodded. "You got it, Mac. I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up and groaned. "I'm sorry." He kissed her as she laughed. "I know, you would do the same thing, and I'm not really sorry." Finishing her thought always caused her to laugh and he smiled before kissing her again and sliding out of bed.


	4. Chapter 4

With Don out on a call, Nicole decided to go into her office. If he was going to be at work, then there was no point in wandering around his apartment without him. She had just finished drafting a letter to the Civilian Complaint Review Board and the Police Commissioner regarding Lindsey Monroe when her cell rang with a familiar number. "Hey Mac. Which one of my clients is in trouble now?" She smiled, but she didn't get the laugh she expected in response.

"Nickel, it's not Mac, it's me."

Danny hadn't called her 'Nickel' since the night before he walked out on her and there was a crack in his voice that she'd only heard once before. Her stomach dropped and she suddenly felt faint. "What's wrong?"

"Nikki, it's Don. There was a building explosion…"

"What hospital is he at?" She began gathering her things, not wanting to hear the specifics for fear that she would lose control.

"They took him to Mercy, but he's unconscious and they are taking him right to surgery." Danny heard her voice crack and he suddenly longed to take her into his arms and tell her it was going to be alright the way he used to before he had pushed her away.

When she walked into the waiting room the nurse had shown her to, there were way too many officers for her comfort zone. It had to be worse than she had allowed herself to admit and when her eyes found Danny's filled with pity and concern, she knew this wasn't just a concussion. "Where is he?"

"He's still in surgery." Danny walked her outside, knowing from experience that she wouldn't want everyone in that room to hear the gory details.

"What happened, Danny?" She heard her voice crack and she looked away.

"He and Mac were processing a scene when they found a bomb. They tried clearing the building, but they didn't get out in time. I don't know the specifics except that his gut was exposed, but I know that Mac was able to stabilize him." He heard her hitch, saw her beautiful blue eyes become wide, and he grabbed her before she collapsed and began hyperventilating. "Nickels, he's going to be fine. Mac saved him and we got there in time to get him to the hospital quickly. He's going to be fine. He's a fighter, Nickel. He's a fighter, just like you. It's going to be alright." He whispered in her ear as she held on to him as tightly as she used to when they were together. The strong and tough defense attorney was gone and replaced the by the scared little girl who's brilliant mind was racing with all the horrible things that could be happening in the operating room two doors down.

For the next twelve hours, after she had uncharacteristically reached out to Danny, held onto him for dear life, using his strength, she alternated between pacing the hallway and trying to sit in the waiting room making idol conversation with the officers who had stopped by to sit the vigil with her. Part of her wished that Danny had stayed to be with her, but she knew he wanted to work the case, had to work the case, and catch the jackass who was did this to Don. For that she was grateful, and it helped keep her sane since there was some form of normalcy to the whole ordeal, but when he arrived back at the hospital with Mac, she could only nod her appreciation. There were tears just beyond her eyes and she wouldn't allow herself to show that weakness, especially not to Danny.

Slowly, the waiting room emptied out. The only two who remained were Mac and Danny. Neither of the men would listen to her and leave. Around two in the morning, Nicole actually found herself smiling when she saw Danny fast asleep on the couch. "Hey Messy," she gently touched his face, "why don't you go home and get some sleep?"

"I'm fine, but if you want to go home, I'll call you if anything changes, Nickel."

"Danny, you've been asleep for the last hour on the most uncomfortable couch I have ever sat on. Go home."

He sat up and rubbed his face. "What about you, Nikki? Have you gotten any sleep?"

"I've had too much bad hospital coffee to sleep, besides, Mac is still here. You go home. I'll call you if anything changes."

Danny searched her eyes and found sadness and darkness, but also momentary calm. He wanted to stay with her, be with her, and be there for Don, but he didn't have it in him to fight with her at that moment. "Yeah, OK. Keep me in the loop, Nick." He hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back later."

"I will, Danny. Thanks for being here. I know that Don appreciates it and I do too." She kissed his cheek again and smiled ruefully before he left.

When Don came out of surgery three hours later, the doctor spoke to them, and Mac watched the confident, strong, and stubborn woman suddenly lose all color in her face and resume her pacing. "Nick, go home. I'll take first shift and call you if he wakes up." Nicole only nodded, grabbed her purse, and walked out. Mac only hoped that she would actually go home and sleep. He'd watched her and Danny together before. They'd gone from constantly being at each other's throats to being best friends again. Nothing good could come from them being together during an emotional time like the one they were all going through.

Danny awoke with a start to the sound of his doorbell and someone knocking on his apartment door. Looking at the clock, he groaned. It was only five in the morning and he'd just fallen asleep two hours before. "Nikki, what's wrong?" There had been tears streaming down her cheeks when he'd looked through the peephole and he opened the door quickly so he could embrace her. "What happened?"

Nicole wiped her face as they sat on Danny's couch, his arm still around her. "Don came out of surgery, but it's touch and go. Mac's staying with him because I just can't watch him lying in that bed with there being nothing I can do to help. Now it's up to him. Messy, I can't lose him. Not now, not after I just lost Will. I can't lose Donny too."

Taking her face in his hands, he turned her to look at him. "Don is a fighter, Nick. He is not going to just give up. He'll pull through this. I know he will." She nodded, the tears resuming their path down her cheeks. "I want to hear you say it, Nick. I want to hear you say that Don is going to be OK."

"How can you be so sure, Danny? He has massive internal injury and he's in a coma."

He'd never seen her so unsure. Even when they were fighting over her career move, she never wavered from belief that everything was going to work out for the best. He saw fear in her eyes for only the second time for the entire time he knew her. "Because if I still had you, I'd use every ounce of strength and power I had to come back to you." Those were the words she needed to hear and he tasted her tears as he kissed her deeply, feeling her kiss him, leaning her against the couch, and caressing her like he used to before he'd been an idiot.

She pulled the Danny Messer signature white tank t-shirt over his head and felt his strong muscles react to her touch as she ran her hands up his back. He felt the same, tasted the same, and kissed her with the same intensity he had when they were still together. It felt good to have his hand in her hair, the other under her shirt, running along her stomach, until he unfastened her jeans. "We can't do this." She quickly pulled away.

"You're right."

"God, this was so much easier when I hated you."

"Tell me about it." His head was spinning and he rubbed his hands over his face. She was his best friend's girl and he had been very ready to take her to bed.

There was a knot in the pit of her stomach. It was a familiar feeling, but she thought she'd rid herself of it when she had given Danny back his ring. "I love Donny, Messy."

"I know, Nickels, I know."

Nicole sighed. She wanted nothing more than to apologize for coming, but she wasn't sorry. The only thing she was suddenly apologetic for was pulling away. Danny had a way of making the world fall away when he kissed her and she needed that at that moment. She needed to feel a warm body against hers, needed to feel life, but it wasn't about what she needed. It was about what Don needed and he didn't need her sleeping with his best friend and her ex. "He doesn't need to know about this, Danny. This was a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by way too many unresolved issues." She turned to face him, her fire back.

"I'll never tell him, Nick, but I'm not going to agree that this was a mistake." He stood up and readied himself for the argument that he knew was coming and she needed.

"Did you hear me say it was a mistake, Messer? I wanted it as much as you did. The only thing that was a mistake was pulling away."

The distance between them was small and he crossed it in two strides and kissed her again. "Then don't pull away."

There was no fight left in her. It felt too good and familiar, that was what she needed at that moment so she could be strong for Don, but as she lay in Danny's arms after, she knew that life was never going to normal ever again.


	5. Chapter 5

"Nick," Mac placed a hand on her shoulder, "Nicole, Don's out of surgery and the doctor wants to talk to us."

Nicole awoke with a start and found herself lying on the same uncomfortable couch she'd chased Danny from and her watch read five am. It had all been a dream. Part of her was grateful it was all in her head, but there was another part that was strangely aching to be in Danny's arms. "Thank you."

Danny walked back into the hospital at ten that morning and found Mac sitting outside Don's room while Nicole was inside sitting on Don's bed and talking to him. Sleep hadn't come easily for him after he'd left the hospital. The way she had touched his face, the name she had called him, it was reminiscent of when they were together, and it stirred emotions that he thought he had long ago lost. "Hey Mac. How's Don?"

Mac looked over at his protégé. "It's touch and go, but the doctors are hopeful provided he makes it through the next twenty-four hours."

"How's Nikki?"

"She won't leave his side." Mac looked over at him with a look of both warning and concern. "Danny, what's going on between the two of you? You've gone from needing restraining orders to best friends in record time."

"Nothing, Mac. There's nothing going on. We just worked out some stuff between us. I know that she's Don's girl, don't worry."

"That's not what I was worried about, but I am now that you mentioned it. Danny, he doesn't need stress right now. He's got a long fight ahead of him and he needs to focus."

"I'm not going to interfere. We're good, Mac. Nick and I are just friends." Though he wanted more, he wasn't going to poach her from his best friend. That was one boundary he wasn't going to push.

"Keep it that way, Danny." Mac returned his focus to the man lying in the hospital bed.

"Hey." Danny walked into the room ten minutes later. "How's he doing?"

Nicole looked over her shoulder and smiled ruefully. "He's in a coma, but he's stable."

"How are you doing?"

"Don't worry about me, Messy."

"Did you sleep at all?" He moved closer to her.

"I slept a little on that couch I chased you from." She laughed slightly. "You know, I've been sitting here on his bed talking to him, but I'm afraid to touch him." The tears began falling down her face. "I never knew that so many tubes could be placed in one human being."

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come here, Nickels."

She gladly went to his outstretched arms and sighed as he held her, her hands gripping the back of his jacket. "Tell me that he's going to be alright. That's all I need right now. I need to know that he's going to wake up and walk out of this hospital."

"He will, I promise." He felt her sigh again and he reluctantly released her, but caught her hand. "Why don't you let me buy you lunch? I'm pretty sure that Mac will stay with him until we get back."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I need to get out of this hospital for a little while." Walking over to Don's bed, she leaned down and whispered that she loved him and that she'd be back, that he shouldn't go anywhere, and she fought tears.

They sat in silence for a few minutes at a local café with Danny just studying Nicole. The doubt and fear that he saw on her face was foreign to him. Never when they had been together had she ever been insecure and not known exactly what to do. Even when he had asked her to marry him, she knew what she had to do to make things work, though he couldn't see that at the time. "Nickels, you want to tell me what is bouncing around in your head?"

"I see you have learned a few things in four years." She smiled ruefully.

"I learned after the first time I asked about a penny for your thoughts. You jumped down my throat about your thoughts being worth more than a penny. Believe me, I learned my lesson." He smiled as she actually laughed. "That's better."

"Yeah, well, I have been all over the place over the last 24 hours."

"I know." They paused and he reached across the table to take her hand. "I figured that's why you called me 'Messy', though Mac thinks it's because I'm trying to poach, and I can tell you that I'm not. I want to be here for both you and Don."

Whenever Danny thought he was in trouble and was trying to get out of it, he rambled, and had since she'd known him. It was good to know that some things never changed. "Danny." She tried to find his eyes. "Danny, we've been through a lot in the past few years and we have a lot of unresolved crap that we have to work through, though neither one of us has ever been good at the emotional stuff. So, when we get thrown into a bad situation like this when someone that we both care about is," she searched for the right word, "hurt," is all she could allow herself to say, "we are thrown back together and it brings up a lot of the emotional crap that neither one of us wants to deal with." She shook her head. "Did that make any sense?"

"Nickel, you've always been able to answer with a narrative."

She smiled. "Yeah, it's something I always tell my clients not to do and it's one of my biggest faults." She shook her head again and checked her cell phone. "You know, this is the first time I've even thought about my office in twelve hours."

"You shouldn't be thinking about anything except Don right now, Nikki. The office will still be there and I'm sure your bosses will understand." He winked at her. "Besides, if they don't you can always go back to the DA's office."

A laugh escaped and she rolled her eyes. "You'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I would. We could be a team again, fighting crime like superheroes, Nickels." He grinned. "You have to admit we made a pretty good team back then."

"Yeah, I guess we did." Her smile was gone when her cell rang. "What's wrong, Mac?"

"You really should get back here. Don's parents are here, Nick."

"I'm on my way. Thanks, Mac." Throwing down a twenty dollar bill, she gently touched Danny's face. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go. Don's parents just arrived at the hospital."

"I'll come with you." He stood up and held her hand. "Nikki, I'm here for you." She smiled ruefully and he softly caressed the soft porcelain skin on her neck, running his thumb along her jaw line, the way he used to, wanting so much to pull her to him and kiss her, letting her know that everything was going to be all right, but he fought that urge, instead kissing her forehead. "We better go."

There was a draw that was undeniable, but Danny Messer had learned self-restraint in the last four years, and it surprised her. Her lips actually tingled from the kiss that almost was, and what he didn't know, is at that moment, she wouldn't have pulled away. She had wanted it almost as much as it was clear that he had wanted to do it, but it would have opened a can of worms that didn't need to be opened.

Three hours later, after the Flacks had left, Danny walked back into Don's room and began lightly massaging Nicole's shoulders, but she pulled away. "Sorry, it looked like you could use it."

She motioned for him to follow her after she kissed Don's forehead and they went into an empty room. "I really could use a world famous Messer massage, but I need to know something." She searched for the right words. "Danny, ever since you called me yesterday, we've been acting like we used to and I am so confused. I am all over the map emotionally and I am just not strong enough to handle this right now. Messy," she went to him and took his hands, "what is going on?"

Danny pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. "Nickel, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to confuse anything. I'm just trying to be here for you as best I can. I know we've been at odds since we called it quits, but I'm just trying to be a friend right now. I'm sorry if I have been making things complicated." He put his hand back on her neck, caressing her delicate skin again. "I know you're Donny's girl now and I respect that."

"But you don't like that fact anymore, do you?" Her voice was barely above a whisper as she stared at his lips, her heart racing in her chest at the proximity to his well-muscled body, and her head more concerned about the man in the bed in the next room to worry about just what could happen with her being this close to Danny Messer.

"Let's just say that today I realized just how big I messed up." His thumb stroked lightly stroked her jaw, then her lips, and he soon replaced his thumb with his lips. Gently grazing his lips against her warm, soft, red lips, he longed to seize her the way he used to, but he quickly pulled away. "I'm sorry, Nick."

"Messy," she caught his hand as the tears of frustration welled up in her eyes, "this is what I'm talking about. Why don't we just get it over with? I need go back to Don and tell him how it's going to be, if I'm going to be with you or with him because right now, I don't know."

He had always hated when she cried, especially when they were tears of frustration, and his heart couldn't take it any longer. Putting his finger under her chin, he gently tilted her face to meet his, and kissed her with all the fire, the tenderness, the passion, and the desire he felt raging within his heart. She pushed back against him and they fit back together the way they had in the past. "Nickels, I never meant to poach. I'm here as a friend for you, OK?"

She'd felt an unfamiliar sadness and desperation and she just nodded, grateful that the tension had eased, but there was still a part of her that wished for it to return so she had something else to think about other than the man on the bed in the next room. "Thank you, Messy." She kissed his cheek and went back to Don.


	6. Chapter 6

Three months later, Don answered the door to his apartment and smiled. "Hey Danny. What's going on?"

"I came to see how you were doing, Man." He smiled and carefully hugged his friend.

"Hey Messer, how are you?" Nicole walked in from the other room and smiled as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. The awkwardness they'd had when Don was in the hospital was over, at least for her. She saw the way Danny always seemed to have a pained look when he watched her and Don together, but she wasn't going to risk what she had for something that had always been volatile. Don was stable, Danny never was.

"Good. Yeah, really good." That's when he looked around and noticed the apartment didn't look the same. "What's with all the boxes?"

"We decided to move in together so we're getting a bigger place." Don put his arm around the woman who hadn't left his side since he'd awoken in the hospital. "We've got to be out of this place by next week so you caught us in the middle of the process."

"I'll let you two men talk, just not about work." Don smirked and she just shook her head. The doctor had told him to take it easy for the next few weeks if he wanted to go back on the job, but both Don and Nicole knew that it his career was his life, as hers was for her, so the last thing he was going to do is distance himself from it.

The next day Danny cornered Nicole after an interrogation. "Nikki, did you tell him?"

"Did I tell who what?"

"Flack, Don, it didn't seem that you told him about us."

"Messer, what is there to tell? Besides, the doctors say that he needs less stress and telling him that his girlfriend and his best friend worked out their unresolved issues by making out while he was in a coma isn't going to provide that type of environment." She gathered her things and placed her hand on his shoulder with a smile. "Danny, the three of us are fine now and only you and I need to know how we got there."

"I don't like keeping something like this from him." He stepped into her path.

"So you would rather tell him that I chose him over you by kissing you thereby setting his recovery back two months?" She glared at him. "Danny, I won't have you doing that. Nothing happened between you and I. We kissed and we moved on. That's it, end of story."

She was right, he knew that, but he didn't want to admit that. The kiss they had shared had meant something to him, though he told her it didn't because he knew she didn't feel the same. "OK, if that's the way you want to play it."

"That's the way we're going to leave it because there is no reason to get Donny upset over nothing." She pushed by him. There was a look in his eyes that she hadn't seen in years and she never wanted to see again. It was the same look he'd had when they first shared an intimate moment. Danny Messer was a lover and gave all of himself when he fell for a woman and she didn't want to be that woman again. It was too painful when it was over.

Two months later, Don returned to active duty and not a minute too soon as far as he was concerned. He had been going stir crazy inside the walls of their new apartment. The only saving grace was Nikki's daily stories of what was going on at the precinct, though she left out the smiles she exchanged with Danny Messer. "You want to tell me what is going on between you and Danny?" He asked as they shared a drink after his shift.

"What is there to tell, Baby? There's nothing going on."

"Stop, Nicole, there is something different now, and you know it. Before I was hurt you two were civil at best, and now you are best of friends. I want to know how that happened."

"Donny, your accident forced us to spend a lot of time together so we worked a lot of crap out."

"How'd you do that?"

"Excuse me?" She glared at him, his tone more sarcastic than she was used to.

"I know how you get when you're upset, Nicole. Did you run to Danny because I was out?"

"I have not slept with Danny Messer in years and I am appalled that you think I would be unfaithful simply because you were incapacitated. I'll have you know that I was exactly where you found me at the corner of your bed for the better part of your hospital stay."

"So you and Danny never shared a 'special moment'?" He glared back at her, knowing that anger and resentment like theirs didn't just magically disappear overnight.

"OH MY GOD, Donny! Did I cry on his shoulder? Yes. Did he cry on mine? Yes. Did I sleep with him? Not on your life!"

"Did you want to?" His voice was low as he held her eyes.

"Honestly," she looked away and then back at him with the same intensity he was giving her, "No!"

"OK." The look in her eyes wasn't disgust for his distrust, as he was expecting. It was fire from her absolute belief and truth in what she was saying.

"Don't you ever interrogate me without cause again, Donald."

"It wasn't without cause, Nicole. I saw the way you two were today and throughout my recovery. You went from hating each other to being the best of friends. I'm going to be suspicious."

She took his hand and kissed his cheek. "Baby, suspicion is one thing. Grilling me like I'm some perp is another. I will never cheat on you. I have never cheated on anyone I've been with and I don't plan to start now."

"At least don't do it with Danny." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "And if you ever want to just tell me."

"I hope you're not waiting."

Danny watched from a distance as his best friend worked out all of his suspicions with Nikki, the woman he was realizing he never stopped loving. Even as his arm embraced his current girlfriend, he wished it were Nikki looking at him, not Don, with the same look of adoration he'd taken for granted. He was coming to the realization that he should have moved in, should have poached, when he had the chance.

"Walk away, Messer." Nikki knew who was behind her just from the footfalls at the courthouse the next day. "I have to grill you on the stand in an hour and any conversation could be seen as witness tampering." She quickly stopped and spun on her designer heels, causing Danny to sidestep to avoid running into her and catching him off guard. "Besides, I don't need another conversation with Don like I had last night. You need to back off. We're acting a little too cozy for his liking and I can't say I blame him."

Danny caught her arm before she could turn away. "Just answer me one question, Nickels. Do you really love him or are you with him because you're afraid I'm going to hurt you again?"

"I love him, Danny. You and I are friends because of him. Now," she pulled free, "I have a witness to prep."

"There's something going on between you and Danny. I saw you at the courthouse today, Nick. I saw you blow him off after you two were laughing and joking yesterday. What happened while I was in the hospital?" Don asked that night.

She took a deep breath and sat down on their bed. "Baby, I'm afraid that he's reading too much into my attempt at mending fences." He sat down next to her and she took his hand. "Donny, the first night after your accident, when they didn't know if you were going to make it, I had a moment of weakness and leaned on Danny because I thought he knew what I was going through. I ended up making the mistake of kissing him and I felt nothing, but he apparently thought that it meant I wanted to get back with him. I am so sorry, Baby. It was nothing to me, but meant something to him."

"You should have told me sooner." He pulled away.

"Baby, I didn't think there was anything to tell. I pulled away and thought nothing of it."

"You kissed another man, Nikki. I'd say that's significant."

"It was only a kiss, nothing more."

He was silent for a moment as he thought about the exchange he'd seen. It was clear that Danny was the aggressor in the situation and she hadn't done anything that he had seen, to lead him on. "I'll talk to him."

"Hey, Flack, she kissed me. I wasn't poaching, Man." Danny defended himself the next day as they rode to a scene.

"And now you're going to back off, Danny. She was confused and weak and now she's mortified and scared. She didn't know what she was doing."

"Hey, I know how she gets when she's upset and that was one hell of a kiss, but that's all it was, Don. She pulled away."

"And now you are going to pull away. She thinks you read more into that kiss."

Because she was always the smart one, Danny thought to himself. "No," he lied, "I know she's with you. So, I'll play nice, but not too nice."

Donny knew from his friend's body language, the way he seemed to no longer be able to sit still, that Nikki had told him the truth. Danny had attempted to poach and still had feelings for the woman he loved. "Yeah, because if you touch her again, I'll kill you."

"There a reason you're sending your boyfriend after me, Sullivan?" Danny barged into her office later that afternoon.

"I did nothing of the sort, Messer. Now, sit down and act civilized before I call Mac."

She still had it. The way she remained calm, the way she crossed her legs when she leaned back, and the way she glared at him. It was her trademark and it still drove him crazy. "Then explain why Donny is threatening me because he found out that you kissed me?"

"Because he saw you at the courthouse yesterday and I told him that I kissed you. Danny," she softened her tone, "what happened at the hospital was something that I will regret for the rest of my life. I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. You got over me once and you'll get over me again. I'm with Don and I love him probably more than I ever loved you. I know that's hard and cruel, but I don't want to screw up what I have. I'm sorry."

He stood up and walked behind her desk. "OK, but I need to know something."

She remained seated knowing what he wanted she couldn't give him. "No, Messy. I've all ready told you all you need to know."


	7. Chapter 7

A month later, Don walked into the familiar brownstone apartment and smiled as he leaned against the doorjamb to master bedroom. "You are a beautiful sight, especially after a fourteen hour shift."

Nicole smirked as she looked up from the case file she'd spread across their king size bed. "Do you still live here?"

"My key still worked in the door downstairs, so I think I do." He laughed and kissed her quickly. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Are we OK?" She asked as he slid into bed.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know. You've been working a lot of double and triple shifts. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't because of something that I'd done."

"No," he kissed her forehead, "if you had done something to get on my nerves, I'm not the type to avoid the subject. I'd just punish you." She laughed before he kissed her sweet red lips, taking her into his arms.

His touch, his caress, caused her temperature to rise. The fervent of his kiss set her aflame, burning her from the inside out with each tender touch he placed against her skin. Her smile was gone, replaced with a look of pleasure as he began his decent down from her neck to her ample cleavage, his hand sliding up her smooth thigh, and she moaned as his tongue greedily lashed at her womanly body. She writhed with ecstasy and kissed him passionately when he found her lips once more, her fingers lacing in his thick black hair.

Her long blonde hair tickled his skin as she kissed a line from his chest to his belly button and her long slender fingers tangled in his chest hair as they followed, feeling like electric shocks as they danced over his skin. The sensation of her body against his as he kissed her lips caused his head to spin. There was no other woman he'd ever been with that he'd felt about so intensely and, as he took her into his arms, plunging his solid manhood deep into her depths, he moaned her name. She took him, all of him, and it felt as though he were wrapped in a warm cocoon, as though she were tailor made just for him.

"Let it go." She kissed him as they continued their rhythm. The last thing she was going to be able to do at that moment was answer her cell. The client was just going to have to wait.

"Baby, answer it." He tried to catch his breath when the phone rang the second time. "They're just going to keep calling."

"Yeah, OK." Kissing him quickly, she grabbed the phone. "Sullivan."

"Hey Nikki, it's Danny. I've got your client, David Mitchell, here and he wanted me to call you to represent him."

"Call the on-call number for my firm. I can't represent him. I represent his father. It's a clear conflict of interest and I'm in the middle of something a little more important." Don stifled a laugh as he kissed her neck. "Scratch that last part, but you are welcome to give him verbatim what I told you. I drafted his restraining order. I can't now turn around and represent him in a criminal action."

"And you're busy right now." Danny smirked. "Ask Don if he wants to meet for a beer."

"Yeah, I will, in about an hour."

He groaned. "That was entirely too much information, Nick, and a mental image I didn't really want." It had been a lie. He'd heard just how breathy and curt she'd been when she picked up the phone and knew exactly what he'd disturbed. His mind had filled with images of how good she'd looked tangled up with him, but both she and Don had made it clear that Nicole was no longer his, so he played their game, biding his time until it was right to make his move.

"Glad I could help." Hanging up, she tossed the phone back onto the nightstand and kissed Don again. "Where were we?"

"Right here." Rolling her onto her back, he seized her mouth with his, her back arching, pressing their sweat-covered bodies together as he resumed their motion. She called out for him, his name never sounding so good as when it escaped her lips, and he kissed her as she began to shutter, her first climax taking hold of her.

She felt her breath coming quicker, her heart beginning to race, and suddenly the world disappeared except for the intense emotions running through her body. Her breath stopped as her body seized, bucking against her lover's, against Don's, and her legs locked around his waist, holding him deep within her. "Donny," she kissed him, still breathless, "you are amazing."

He kissed her lips, then her neck, and whispered. "I'm not done yet." The look of pleasure returned to her face as he gently began sliding in and out of her depths, rocking against her, meeting him with her hips, slower than before, but the pressure soon became too much and he increased their pace, her body responding in time. As he felt her shuttering again, contracting around his throbbing manhood, he couldn't hold back any longer. A long and deep moan escaped as, with one final thrust, he exploded inside her, her name escaping as he felt the last of his essence leave him. "Now," he said breathlessly as she took her against his chest, kissing her one last time, "I'm done."

The laugh that answered him was more of a grunt, but she smiled and sank into his arms, quickly falling into a deep sleep only to be woken by Don's cell phone at two in the morning. "You just came off a triple. Don't answer it."

"I have to and you know that you would do the same thing." He kissed her as she smiled softly before he picked up and heard his captain's voice. "I'll be there in a half hour." Hanging up, he gently ran his fingers through her long blond hair, kissing her one last time. "I love you, Nikki."

"I love you too." She smiled and fell back to sleep while he was in the shower.


	8. Chapter 8

Two months later, Danny watched Nicole from the back of a courtroom. She'd already ripped him apart the day before, now she was doing the same thing to Hawkes. It was Sheldon's first time with her and he was becoming her lunch. They would be lucky to get a conviction on the lesser charge on the indictment. "Are you still hungry or did you get your fill with Sheldon?" He joked as she walked by him in the rotunda.

"Messer, we have had this conversation before. You are a witness for the prosecution in a case I am defending. I cannot be seen talking with you if I want to keep my license."

Her designer heels clicked on the marble as she began her decent down the stairs, but he was able to keep up. "I'm just suggesting a slice between friends, nothing sinister."

"I have plans, but thank you for the offer."

"Where are you two lovebirds going?"

"The Yankees game." She stopped on the landing and spun, causing him to stop short, and she smirked.

"You got tickets to the Yankees Red Sox game? How'd you swing that?"

"A client of mine has season tickets and is out of town, so he gave them to me as a thank you gift."

"Wow, what did you do for him?"

She laughed. "I did my job, but I saved his son from losing a baseball scholarship to UCLA."

"Where are the seats?"

"Now that, I can't tell you because I haven't told Don yet. Suffice it to say that they are really good. So, I have to take a rain check on that slice. The car will be here any minute."

"The car? You're getting a limo to drop you at Yankee Stadium? Damn, Nickel." He shook his head as she laughed and ran down the stairs. That should be him on her arm sitting in 'really good' seats to see his favorite team. Suddenly, his stupidity was becoming his bitter pill to swallow. Don would never put up with her constant questioning of what was happening on the field. Every time he'd taken her to a game, she'd lean closer to him and ask him questions after every play until he'd put his arm around her shoulders, feeling her settle back against him. During the seventh inning stretch, he'd look over at her and find her peacefully asleep against his arm. The image began to make his stomach churn and he headed to a local bar.

"Right behind home plate?" Don's eyes got wide as they headed to their seats. "How'd you get these?"

"A client gave them to me." She kissed his cheek with a smile. His reaction was more than she had hoped for. He'd been so good to her, putting up with a lot of stuff that other men, lesser men, would have walked out over. "Happy,"

"Anniversary." He finished with a smirk as he gave her his patented raised eyebrow look. "You thought I forgot?"

"I didn't know."

"How could I forget? I spent the entire night wondering if I had been asleep while you were going out with Danny to have missed just how beautiful you are."

"You weren't asleep, I was until I met you." He just smiled and kissed her hand.

During the seventh inning stretch, with the Yankees up by three, Don leaned over and kissed her perfect red lips, reaching into his pocket as he did. "I'm not sure that this is going to compare to seats behind home plate, but," he opened the velvet box as he kneeled down in front of her, "Nicole Sullivan, will you marry me?"

"Oh my God, Baby!" She gasped, her hands covering her mouth, but she quickly handed him her left hand. "Yes. Yes, I will marry you."

"Hey, Donny," Danny stopped his friend in the hall of the lab the next day, "how'd the game go last night? Where were your seats?"

"We were right behind home plate. Sweetest seats I've ever been in. The Yankees won and Nikki said yes when I asked her to marry me, so I'd say that, overall, the game went well." Don smiled, oblivious to just how white his best friend had become.

"You're getting married?"

"Looks like it. I can count on you to be my best man, right?"

How could Don ask such a question? Nicole had damn near marred him four years before, he still loved her, but he forced a smile. "Sure, you got it. No problem, Man. Congrats, really." He slapped his friend's shoulder. "Um, I'll catch up with you later. I've got to check in with Mac."

"We'll meet at O'Malley's for a beer later."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be there." God knew he needed a drink after hearing those words.

"Hey, Messy, over here!" Nicole called out over the din of people in the dimly lit bar to the good-looking brown-haired Italian man later that night.

"Hey there, Nickel." He was actually able to smile genuinely when he saw her. She was so beautiful and her smile had always been infectious. "I want you both to meet Katie. Katie, this is Nickel and Don. We all work together." And I was once engaged to her, but I royally screwed things up four years ago today, he finished in his head. "Katie's a kindergarten teacher in Westchester."

"It's nice to meet you both." The brown-eyed blonde extended her hand as she slid into the booth. "If I may, why does Danny call you 'Nickel'?"

Nicole laughed. "My name's Nicole, but one night, not long after we met, Messer got a little drunk and it came out as 'Nickel'. He's called me that ever since."

"Nah, come on there, Nickel. Why don't you tell everyone the real reason?" Danny grinned as he put his arm around his new girl, enjoying the look of discomfort in Nicole's sparkling blue eyes.

"OK, I don't know if I can do this quite right, but I'll try." She smirked at him and cocked her to the side before speaking with her best New York accent. "Nickel, because you're a perfect five. Beauty, brains, blonde, boobs, and a smokin' hot bod." The four of them shared a laugh. "So, Katie, Danny said that you taught kindergarten?"

"It was really good to meet you, Nikki." Katie smiled as she and Nicole said their goodbyes later that night. "We'll have to get together again really soon."

"I agree." She hugged the girl. "Look, Katie, I want to be up front with you because I know that Danny probably wasn't. He and I dated about four years ago so if he ever gives you any trouble, just let me know and I'll let you know what he's really saying." They shared a laugh. "You're smart, though. I'm sure that you'll figure it out."

"It's still nice to have a translator from time to time." She stepped into the cab. "Take care, Nikki."

Danny awoke the next afternoon, his day off, to the sound of pounding on his front door. "Alright, alright, I'm coming. Give me a minute, will you?" He opened his door. "Nickel."

There was a look of shock on his face as she stepped into the apartment and sat down on his couch. "Hey, Messy. Have you sobered up from last night?"

"Enough. What's up?"

"We need to talk about Katie. She's a nice girl, a good girl, and I don't want to see her hurt."

"I wasn't planning on tying her up just yet." He smirked as she laughed. "Does Don know you're here talking to me?"

"Not that it matters, but yes, he knows. I wouldn't shut up the entire cab ride back to our place last night."

He laughed. "Yeah, I should have warned him about your busybody nature."

She smiled and crossed her legs. "It's not going to work, Messy. I love Don. I'm going to marry Don."

"What's not going to work? I know that you are engaged. I'm not trying to poach."

"Like fun." She laughed and shook her head. "Danny, do you really think that I don't see what you're doing? She's your type."

It was his turn to laugh. "So, now I'm getting accused of doing something sinister just because I have a type?" He put up his hands. "Nick, I know you're with Don. Yes, I admit that when we kissed I felt something there that you didn't, but I can see how happy he makes you now. I'm not going to sit and wait for what I can't have. Not anymore."

His blue eyes were actually clear and held hers. He'd never been able to hold her eyes when he lied, so she wanted to believe him, to not see him as a threat any longer, but there was something in her that just didn't trust him. "OK, then, that's really good and I'm sorry for being egotistical." Standing up, she hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'll talk to you later."

His arms ached and his cheek tingled when he closed the door. She'd felt so good against him and he hadn't wanted to let go. Then again, he hadn't wanted to lie to her either, but he had to. She was happy, he could see that, and it wasn't with him. That's what hurt the most. His heart was breaking all over again.


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you mean you won't be there?" Nicole lost the smile that had been on her face the entire day two months later. "Danny, you're the best man. You have to be at the engagement party."

"I'm sorry, Nick. Katie and I are going to Jamaica that week." Danny had purposely made the arrangements so he wouldn't have to be at that party. It was becoming increasingly hard for him to watch Nicole and Don together knowing that their happiness could have been his happiness if he hadn't been so stupid as to push Nicole away.

She let out a sigh. "I'd say that we'd wait for you to return because we really want you there, but I'm guessing you'd be out of town or working then too."

"Nikki, don't be like that."

"Look, Danny, I don't care if you want to come or not. I'm used to you acting like a spoiled brat, but Don isn't. Don is your best friend and he wants you at our engagement party and at our wedding in four months. I'm sure you are going to find something else to on New Year's Eve though."

"Whoa, Nicole, that was harsh."

"It was meant to be, Messer. I don't think you realize what your selfishness is doing to your friendship with Don and all because you realized, a little late, that you want to be with me. That's ridiculous."

"Whoa, you're the one being ridiculous, Nicole. Katie and I have had these Jamaica plans for weeks, since before I knew about your little engagement party. It has nothing to do with not wanting to see you and Don together."

"That's bullshit!"

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Because Katie called me up last night hysterical about how you keep calling her 'Nikki' and told me that the only reason you wanted to go to Jamaica is because you couldn't watch Don and I together anymore. We were too happy." He was silent. "You really need to stop getting drunk and calling your girlfriend."

"Nikki," his voice was softer as he spoke a few minutes later, "can I be honest with you?"

"It would be a nice change of pace, Messer."

"Hey!" Danny swallowed his anger. She was right. "OK, the truth is, I did realize, a little too late, that I screwed up, that it should be us planning an engagement party and a New Year's Day wedding, but I am not going to stand in the way of you being happy. You deserve to be happy."

"And so does Don. In order for Don to be happy, Danny, he needs his best friend at these parties. Think about him. We have to invite the partners from my firm and some of his father's friends in the NYPD brass that we really would love to leave out. It would be nice to have a friendly face there."

"OK, Nick. You have my word that I'll be at your wedding. I don't think I should cancel with Katie. Jamaica might be good for us."

"It worked for you and me." She finally smiled again as she thought back. "Just don't break up with her if she wants to take a better job." He laughed as she did.

Danny sat on a Jamaican beach two weeks later, a Red Stripe in one hand, and Katie holding on to the other, but he wasn't happy. This wasn't where he needed to be. The more he drank, the more the blonde to his left started looking like the blonde he wanted to be with. He'd fucked up, he'd pushed her away, and now she was happy with someone else. She deserved to be happy, even if it was with his best friend, but he missed her. Katie was warm, but insecure. Nicole, his Nickel, was warm, caring, confident, and strong, certainly stronger than he was given that he'd run away rather than face her smiling face looking with adoration at Don Flack.

As Nicole sat at the long table in the trendy restaurant in Midtown, Don's arm around her waist, all of their family and friends around them, she strangely missed Danny. In planning their engagement party, she thought that she and Don would be better off without Danny there to embarrass them and himself, but they weren't. She smiled ruefully and sipped her champagne. Don thought that her sadness was because she missed her parents, and she let him believe that because it was easier than telling him the truth. The truth was, she was used to her parents not being around given that they had both died in a plane crash when she was nineteen, it was Danny Messer that she missed because she was used to him being around.

Don kissed the top of his fiancé's head as they rode home from their engagement party. The taxi driver was taking the long way, but he didn't care. It gave him time to warm Nicole's cold feet. The entire day she'd had a forced smile on her face and a sadness in her blue eyes. He knew that was because Danny was away with another girl. Ever since he'd proposed, he'd noticed how she and Danny had suddenly started talking every day, Danny meeting her everyday after court. He knew that Danny was poaching; he'd seen it in his best friend's eyes. There was pain and sadness that was magnified when Nicole would walk into a room. Nicole and Danny had been together for almost three years, their breakup being hard and swift, neither of them knowing if the relationship had drawn it's close, so there were still strong feelings that remained. He knew that, but he wished, somehow, that Nicole would stop looking at Danny with a look of longing Don knew she'd never have for him.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note:**__ My Dear Readers, I am so apologetic for not updating this story before now. If you are a writer, you understand that the story doesn't flow just because you want it to. Don, Danny, and Nicole have caused me quite a bit of frustration over the last month and for that, I am truly sorry. What follows is just another road towards the final culmination of the journey, which I actually do know where it will end. It's the getting to that destination that is proving difficult. I seem to have misplaced my GPS. So, please enjoy this chapter, and I give you my word that I will not allow Don, Danny, and Nicole to stay so long as this rest area. All the best, Cat._

--

"Morning, Sunshine." Danny smiled as Nicole opened the door Saturday morning a month later. Her beautiful long blond hair pulled into a tight ponytail, her smooth porcelain skin freshly washed and without a stitch of makeup, she looked stunning, but her eyes told him she wasn't in the mood to play.

"Messer," she just shook her head. "Come in. The coffee's almost done and Don should be down in a few minutes."

"I caught you before your morning coffee? Things could get ugly and I don't have my service weapon with me. I'll watch my step." He laughed and watched her smirk slightly before she turned away. "How are the wedding plans coming?"

"How's Katie?" She quipped back as she placed his coffee in front of him.

"Touché, Nick." He smiled. He didn't care about the wedding plans anymore than she cared about his girlfriend. Since he'd missed their engagement party, Nicole had become civil towards him, no longer warm and friendly, apparently annoyed at him or suddenly aware of just how he was attempting to win her back. "Sorry about the Donovan case. I heard you took a plea."

"That's public record."

"It can't go down as a win."

She laughed as she sipped her coffee. "Danny, I win every case that I set out to win and a plea is still less time than a conviction, so I count it as a win."

"What about when your client is guiltier than sin?"

"They are still innocent until proven guilty." She laughed again, more than used to Danny Messer attempting to push her buttons. "Let's just call a truce and change the subject."

Don listened to them banter back and forth from the stairs and he smiled. Since the engagement party, Nicole had been shutting Danny down, barely talking to him unless they were in public, and spending more time at home. "Morning, Messer."

"Morning, Flack. You ready for a few hoops this morning?" Just then the phone rang. "Oh, or not."

"I got it." Nicole smiled and kissed the top of Don's head, but that smile was gone when she came back to the table. "It's your father, Baby."

"No love lost between you and Dad, huh?" Danny could see her normally sparkling blue eyes were dark.

"No. He doesn't like that his future police commissioner is marrying a defense attorney. We used to get along, until Don put this ring on my finger."

"Well, look at it from his perspective, Nickel. Donny goes to moves up in the department and who does he take with him but a beautiful leggy blonde who puts the perps back on the street. It doesn't really look good."

"What are you saying?" She glared at him as she stood up. "I shouldn't marry Don because of my chosen profession? Let me tell you something, Messer, just because you don't like what I do doesn't mean that I don't have a place in the criminal justice arena! You know what, get out!"

"Whoa, Nicole," he put his hands up, "all I'm saying,"

"Get out of our house, Messer." She opened the front door.

"Hey, Nikki," Don came running into the room, "what's going on?"

"Danny was just leaving. He'll meet you at the basketball court."

"Yeah, I think I better." Danny stood up. "Look, Nickel, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

"You should have thought about that before you opened your mouth." She slammed the door behind him.

"Baby," Don placed his hands on her shoulders, "what happened?"

"Danny still has issues with me being a defense attorney." She pulled away. "Everyone seems to have an issue with me being a defense attorney."

"I don't." He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, kissed her shoulder, and felt her sigh. "You know that he loves pushing your buttons, Babe."

"Yeah, I know."

He kissed her shoulder again. "Want to come watch me kick his ass on the basketball court?"

"That might actually make me feel better." She smiled slightly and leaned back against him. "I'm sorry I blew up."

"Don't be. Danny needs to learn when you're in the mood for his witty quips and when my father calls is not the time to bring up the fact that you are a defense attorney." When she turned around to face him, her radiant blue eyes actually reflected a look of love that he'd never seen directed at him before, and he kissed her. "I love you."

He almost never said it first, barely said it back to her, so to hear him say those three words with a beautiful and tender look in his eyes, almost brought her to tears. "I love you."


	11. Chapter 11

While he was on the basketball court, Don could feel her eyes following him, every move, every play, Nicole's intense gaze and beautiful smile were there to catch it, and his heart was actually skipping beats. Suddenly, the looks of adoration and love were directed at him, not at Danny. He'd watched during halftime as Danny had attempted to apologize, but she had mumbled something and walked away. Finally, he was confident that he wasn't going to lose her. Something had happened, had snapped into place, and he was grateful. "Hey Beautiful." He grinned at her after the game.

"Hey yourself, Baby." She smiled and walked down from the bleachers, but laughed and sidestepped when he went to embrace her. "Oh no, Donny. You have that man-stink all over you, and while strangely attractive, it is repelling at the same time."

"OK, well, I'll go to take a shower then the loser," he slapped his friend's shoulder, "is going to buy us lunch."

"You wish, Flack." Danny laughed as he wiped his face. "You won, you buy."

Nicole laughed as the two friends joked and horsed around on their way into the YMCA, the morning's disagreement forgotten. As much as she and Danny butted heads, they always had, he really was a true friend to Don. For all his faults, and there were quite a few, he was a good man, but she didn't think that Don would have a friend who wasn't. "Excuse me?" She was pulled by her thoughts by the man who had sat down next to her.

"I was just saying that it was a good game."

"Yes it was." She turned her attention to the Blackberry in her hand, hoping that would serve as a gentle hint that she wasn't interested in his advances.

"Who were the teams?"

"It was just a pickup game. Same as it is every weekend." She said very monotone. Something told her she shouldn't engage him, but he seemed nice enough, well dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, and he wasn't aggressive.

"You're here every week?"

"No, just occasionally. I know two of the players."

"I didn't think I recognized you. A beautiful woman like you I would certainly remember."

And there it was. Nicole fought the urge to roll her eyes at the tired line. "Thank you for the compliment." She flashed him a tight smile and returned to her Blackberry.

"What do you do that you are risking Carpel Tunnel Syndrome at your young age?"

And the hits just keep on coming. "I'm in sales." She lied. "And I'm just trying to catch up while I wait for my friends." Take the hint, Buddy, she thought to herself.

"On a beautiful day like this, you shouldn't be working. Why don't you take the day off and go for a walk in the park before there's too much snow on the ground to enjoy it?"

"Because I'm saving my days off for when I get married." She smiled another tight smile and held up her left hand before returning to her email again. "Really, I'm just waiting for my friends." Now he was becoming aggressive, moving closer to her, trying to read over her shoulder, and she went back to the main screen, putting the device back in her pocketbook.

"What about your fiancé? If you were my girl, I would never let you out of my sight."

"While sweet, I really should be going. It was nice talking with you." She lied again and stood up, but the lunatic grabbed her arm.

"C'mon, Gorgeous. Spend the day with me and let me show you what you're missing."

"No, thanks, I'm very happy. Now, let go of me."

Don and Danny walked back onto the court and each reached for their wallets at the same time, though neither looked at the other, more concerned with the idiot grabbing Nicole's arm. "There a problem?" Don asked as both he and Danny flashed their badges.

The guy holding her froze and Nicole took the opportunity to pull herself free. "Yeah, this jerk doesn't understand the meaning of No."

"The lady and I were just talking."

"I usually talk with my mouth. How about you, Flack?" Danny seethed as he stepped closer to the mutt.

"Yeah, usually, and when an engaged woman blows me off, I'm man enough to take the hint."

"Hey, Officer," the jeans-clad man stepped towards Don, "what's it to you? I was just taking with the lady. Ain't no crime in that and I don't see her fiancé around."

"What's it to me?" Don pushed Nicole behind him and used his height to his advantage. "Number one, it's Detective. Number two, you are looking at her fiancé, and number three, and this part's the important one, you committed a crime when you grabbed her arm and kept her from walking away. Now, you might want to walk away before my fellow detective and I run you in for assault, battery, aggravated harassment, and anything else we can think of on our way back to the precinct. You got it?"

"Yeah, I got it. I didn't mean anything by it, Detective. Honestly, I was just hitting on a pretty woman."

"The next time you want to hit on a pretty woman," Danny stepped closer, leaning in, "you might want to try not hitting her." The jerk scurried away and he turned his attention to the woman who was in Don's arms. "Nikki, are you OK?"

"I'm fine. I'm just glad you two came out when you did."

That's when he saw the red finger indentations on her upper arm and he lightly rolled up her sleeve. "That guy had a hold of you pretty tight."

"Yeah, but that's all. I'm fine." She winced when Danny went to cradle her arm.

"Don, take a look at this. I think we better get her to the ER."

She pulled away from Don. "The ER for a bruise? You two are insane. While I thank you for caring, but I'm fine, really."

"I hate to admit it, but Danny's right, Baby." Don smirked. "Seriously, I would feel better if you got checked out just to make sure that he didn't break your arm."

"He didn't break my arm, Don. I'm a little bruised. That's all."

"I'll call Hawkes." Danny pulled out his cell and Nicole just shook her head. "You should know us by now, Nikki. You aren't going to win this argument."

An hour later, after Dr. Sheldon Hawkes had satisfied both men that her arm wasn't going to fall off, just as they were walking into the restaurant, Don's cell phone rang. "Go. Be someone else's hero today." Nicole answered his apologetic eyes. "I'll see you at home later."

Leaning down, he kissed her with a smile. "I promise I won't be too late." Then he looked over at his best friend.

"Don't worry. I've got her covered. She'll make it home in one piece." Danny grinned, but it became strained as Don kissed Nicole once more. He couldn't understand why that would still make his heart ache. They were good together, had been for a while, but he still wanted her. Late at night, when the dark and demons over took him, his mind filled with visions of telling Nicole just how much he still cared for her, how much he loved her, and having her confess that she really was still in love with him. Then he'd wake up hearing the last thing he said to her before he walked out, 'I can't be with a woman who is willing to undermine everything I've worked for over a few lousy pennies. You aren't the woman I fell in love with, Nicole.'

"Yoo-hoo, Messer, you with me? I asked if you wanted to come in for coffee." Nicole laughed, opening the door to her brownstone apartment four hours later.

"Yeah, sure, why not. I could go for a beer."

"Where were you?" She asked with a smile. They'd spent a very enjoyable day together. Actually laughing the way they used to before the nightmare break-up, but that actually hadn't entered her mind until the moment she asked that question. The entire day she'd only thought about how grateful she was they were getting along, for Don's sake then she had to ruin that by asking a typical lawyer question, one she already knew the answer to. "Never mind."

He opened his beer and studied the label, unwilling to look into her eyes, afraid of what he might see there. "How's your arm?"

"It hurts a little, but I'll live."

"You want me to kiss it better?"

She laughed at the sly playful look on his face. "You must be kidding me. That hasn't worked in years."

"Thought I'd try." He took a sip, finally finding her eyes. "I still can't believe that you beat my score at the batting cages with a sore arm."

"I can't believe you took me to the batting cages with a sore arm." She laughed again.

"You said you wanted to go. You were the one who said that it was a really nice day and you didn't want to spend it inside."

"So that automatically means the batting cages?"

"It does to me." He laughed. "You should know that by now, Nickel."

"Silly me for thinking that you would be a gentleman for one day." She winked at him, but he placed his beer down and started to get up. Squealing, she quickly stood up and ran to the other side of the table, knowing was he was going to do next.

"You are going to get it now, Sullivan." The childish squeal he'd heard had sounded like music to his ears. It was the same sound that always greeted his threat to tickle her and when he caught her, pinning her to the kitchen counter, lightly tickling her stomach, he rejoiced in the laugh that he received. There was just one disadvantage to being that close to her unsupervised, the pull of her bright blue eyes and soft red lips. As he covered her mouth with his, he felt her kiss him back, her hands sliding into his hair the way he remembered so vividly, feeling even better in his arms than he remembered.


	12. Chapter 12

"Yoo-hoo, Messer, you with me? I asked if you wanted to come in for coffee." Nicole laughed, opening the door to her brownstone apartment four hours later.

"Yeah, sure, why not. I could go for a beer."

"Where were you?" She asked with a smile. They'd spent a very enjoyable day together. Actually laughing the way they used to before the nightmare break-up, but that actually hadn't entered her mind until the moment she asked that question. The entire day she'd only thought about how grateful she was they were getting along, for Don's sake then she had to ruin that by asking a typical lawyer question, one she already knew the answer to. "Never mind."

He opened his beer and studied the label, unwilling to look into her eyes, afraid of what he might see there. "How's your arm?"

"It hurts a little, but I'll live."

"You want me to kiss it better?"

She laughed at the sly playful look on his face. "You must be kidding me. That hasn't worked in years."

"Thought I'd try." He took a sip, finally finding her eyes. "I still can't believe that you beat my score at the batting cages with a sore arm."

"I can't believe you took me to the batting cages with a sore arm." She laughed again.

"You said you wanted to go. You were the one who said that it was a really nice day and you didn't want to spend it inside."

"So that automatically means the batting cages?"

"It does to me." He laughed. "You should know that by now, Nickel."

"Silly me for thinking that you would be a gentleman for one day." She winked at him, but he placed his beer down and started to get up. Squealing, she quickly stood up and ran to the other side of the table, knowing was he was going to do next.

"You are going to get it now, Sullivan." The childish squeal he'd heard had sounded like music to his ears. It was the same sound that always greeted his threat to tickle her and when he caught her, pinning her to the kitchen counter, lightly tickling her stomach, he rejoiced in the laugh that he received. There was just one disadvantage to being that close to her unsupervised, the pull of her bright blue eyes and soft red lips. As he covered her mouth with his, he felt her kiss him back, her hands sliding into his hair the way he remembered so vividly, feeling even better in his arms than he remembered.

"Mmm, Danny, we can't do this." She pushed him away after a minute, her lips tingling and wanting more.

"I know. It was just, um," he stammered as he turned from her, "being that close to you, like old times,"

"Brought everything flooding back." She finished. "Believe me, I know. That's probably why I kissed you back, but,"

"You are marrying my best friend in three months. I know."

"Yeah." She sighed and fell silent. "Danny, I can't fight this anymore. I'm too tired. I know in my head and in my heart that we are toxic together, that we are more volatile than gasoline, but I can't seem to stop feeling for you."

"What, Nikki? What are you feeling?"

"The same mixture of love and hate that I had when we were together. It's like when you kissed me in that hospital you awakened something deep within me that had been dormant for years and I've been fighting it ever since. Messy," she shook her head and sighed again, "we never really ended. I think that's the problem. We just avoided each other and then we were forced to play these very different roles when Don and I started dating. Everything is just all jumbled up."

"Yeah, it is. I shouldn't be in love with my best friend's girl, but I am. I shouldn't have you in my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night, but I do. And I should care that my best friend could walk in that door at any minute and hear us talking, but I don't. Nikki, let's give us another shot. Let's see if this could work."

"No, Danny, we can't. You know that we aren't good together. We spent more time fighting than we did making up and you still don't respect what I do for a living. It won't work."

Walking back to her, he took her into his arms and kissed her once more. "We have to see."

She shook her head, the realization and sadness of the situation washing over her. "No, Messy, we don't. I'm going to marry Don, you are going to marry a good woman, and you and I will have the occasional drunken fling that neither of our spouses will ever know about."

"That's no life, Nick."

"Maybe not, but it is what will keep from going insane and breaking the heart of a very good man."

"Answer me one question, do you love him? Do you love Don with all of your heart?"

"I do. He is a good man, Danny, and he is good for me. He keeps me grounded, focused. He gives me what I need. Even though I do have feelings for you, I can't call it love. I don't think we ever had love, not like what I have with Don."

"Yes, we did, Nickel. We still do. If we didn't, you wouldn't have kissed me back just then."

"No, Messy," she touched his face, "we had passion not love, and that sort of passion can't last. It's like when you strike a match. At first it flares big and bright, so intense you almost can't look at it, but then it slowly burns down until it burns your finger before burning out. I think right now we just re-struck the match, Danny, but we both know what comes next, and I'm not willing to risk the steady, controlled, fire that I have with Don for a few good months, maybe a year."

"OK, then I won't stand in your way any longer." He sighed and kissed her again, knowing she was right, but not really wanting to admit it just yet. "I should be going." She just nodded. "I'll see you around."


	13. Chapter 13

It was another two months, right before Thanksgiving, and one month before her wedding, when Nicole knocked on his apartment door. There was something she needed, something only Danny Messer could give her, closure, a sense of finality and reassurance that she was doing the right thing. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Danny attempted to wake up completely. Having just come off a triple, he had hoped to catch a few hours of sleep, but seeing the beautiful leggy blond standing in the hallway erased his exhaustion. "What's up?"

"Kiss me."

He rubbed his eyes and looked at her again. Had she just said what he thought she said? "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Messy. I need for you to kiss me. I need to know if I'm kidding myself or not."

She didn't have to ask him twice because he knew she was. She wasn't the perfect domestic diva that she convinced herself she was. There was a fire deep in her soul that needed to be filled and Don just didn't know how to do that. As he kissed her, as she wrapped her arms around his exposed torso, her soft hands against his skin, he aimed to stoke that flame.

He felt too good. He shouldn't have felt that good, she thought to herself, stripping from her t-shirt, loving every caress Danny lay against her skin before he carried her to his bedroom. This was only supposed to be a kiss, only supposed to assure her that marrying Don was the right thing to do despite the doubts and disapproving family, but it only served to convince her of what she already knew. She wanted Danny Messer more than she wanted Don Flack.

Their rhythm was slow at first, but increased as she began moving with him, establishing their harmony. The sensation of having her in his arms again, of being inside her again, felt better than he could have ever imagined. Listening to her whisper his name turned out to be the biggest aphrodisiac he'd ever experienced and it only enhanced what he was feeling. "Lose control, Nickel." He whispered in her ear when he heard her breath coming quicker. It was what he'd always told her, that she didn't have to pretend to be anyone anymore, that she could be herself, and he would still love her because he would always love her, and he heard her moan as she reached her climax.

"Oh God, Messy." She tried to catch her breath, but the world was going black again, another peak quickly overtaking her. His words, his reassurance that she could be herself, had reminded her that Danny knew more about her than Don ever would. It was in that moment, as she felt Danny filling her with his essence, that she realized she was making the right decision.

For two hours Danny held her to his chest. They fit so well together and she slept so peacefully against him. There should have been a sense of guilt and shame. After all, he had just slept with his best friend's fiancée, but he felt nothing but satisfaction and love, like what they had done was a natural progression of their relationship, and he kissed her again when she got up to leave. "Nickel, I will never tell him and we never have to do this again if you don't want to, but I want you to know that I love you. I wanted this to happen even if you didn't."

Leaning down, she kissed him deeply. "Messy, I wanted this to happen probably more than you did and I love you too." She touched his face, memorizing the feel of the late evening stubble and every curve and dimension. "You did nothing wrong. Remember that, Danny, always remember that."

"You do the same, Nickel." He kissed her again.

Leaving Danny's apartment, she hailed a cab and called Don, who was still on duty. "Hey, Baby."

"Hey. What's wrong?" There was a sadness in her voice that came through the line.

"No, nothing. I'm just tired, that's all. I just wanted to call to hear your voice and tell you that I loved you."

"I love you too, Baby." There was something wrong, but he would talk to her when he got home. "Are you headed back to the brownstone?"

"No," she quickly wiped the tears from her face before he could hear them, "I have one more stop to make before I can sleep. I just needed to hear your voice."

"OK." It almost sounded like she was crying, but he had to go into an interrogation and didn't have the time to question her. "I love you, Baby."


	14. Chapter 14

The cab dropped her at the upscale midtown hotel and she went up to her room, heading straight for the shower. When Don came she didn't want him smelling his best friend on her. After the long hot shower, during which she shaved her legs, scrubbed her face, and used the scented soap Don loved so much, she sprayed her damp body with her favorite perfume before she dressed in a modest, yet still flattering, black dress. She would wait to apply her makeup, wanting it to be perfect, so she would wait until after she was finished with what she had to do.

Atop the professional style desk in the corner of the hotel room lay Nicole's personal stationary and she sat down in the desk chair to begin her final task. After an hour, four envelopes were placed strategically on the edge of the desk, and she rose to return to the bathroom to apply her makeup and style her hair. Her eyes weren't as puffy as she had anticipated they would be. There had been a few tears, but mostly what she felt was acceptance that she was finally making the right decision.

As she put the final pins in her long blond locks, she began to feel drowsy, like she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. It was a good feeling, a peaceful feeling, and it meant she wouldn't be staring at the ceiling for long. Everything was falling into place right on time. The only thing left to do was to step into her new black pumps and lay back on the bed. Once she had perfectly placed her hair against the pillows, she gave in, and fell asleep.

The call came in at ten o'clock in the morning and put both men into a state of shock. Suddenly, the cup of coffee they were in line to buy was unimportant and Don threw on the lights and sirens of his sedan as they raced across town, not believing what Mack had told them over the phone.

When they arrived, Mac watched both of his detectives when they entered the scene. Don instantly fixated on the body on the bed, walking slowly towards her as though in a trance, and Danny looked away, removing his glasses as he struggled to contain his emotions. Suddenly, he heard a rookie patrolman make an off color remark. "Get him out of here!"

It was too late. Don had heard the comment about there being one less defense attorney and knocked the uniformed officer onto the ground with one left hook. "One less defense attorney? Is that all you see? Her name is Nicole Sullivan and she is going to be my wife in thirty-five days. She is intelligent, witty, caring, and incredibly beautiful. Being a defense attorney does not define her. It is her career, not her life."

Danny restrained his friend as the officer got back on his feet. "Let it go, Don. The guy doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Was." The creep in the blues said. "You keep referring to her as 'is' and she's a 'was'."

That remark caused Danny to lose what little control he had on his emotions and he landed a punch to the dirtbag's stomach, knocking the wind out of him, and causing him to double over in pain. "Go ahead, keep talking."

"Unless you want to make it three, I suggest you get him out of here." Mac growled at the superior officer by the door. "In fact, everyone needs to clear the scene. Now!" All of the uniform officers suddenly snapped to attention and left the room. "Donny, you and Danny need to leave as well."

"Just tell me what happened."

"It's an apparent suicide."

"No." Don wiped his face. "No, she didn't do this to herself. I want an autopsy."

"She figured you would." Mac smiled a rueful smile and handed him the evidence bag containing the letter the maid had found on top of the body.

"I am happy to respect her wishes and I promise I will keep you in the loop and you can see her once I get her back on my table." Sheldon placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "You have my word that I will be respectful and will only do what I absolutely have to so you can still bury her in that beautiful black dress."

An hour later, Don stood over Nicole's lifeless yet perfectly made up body. Tears streamed down his cheek, but he still smiled ruefully. Even in death, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. A thousand questions raced through his mind at once. Why hadn't he just taken the time to talk to her the previous night? Why hadn't he told another detective to handle the interrogation? It hadn't even been his case. Why hadn't he seen her downward slide while it was happening? Why could he only see it in hindsight? He'd read the letter she'd left on her body, the one where she said she didn't want an autopsy, that it was a suicide, but she knew that he would request an autopsy and she requested Sheldon. It didn't make it any easier. He still wanted answers, there were too many whys bouncing around, the most important one, he asked her when he took her cold hand. "Why didn't you just come to me, Baby? Why didn't you let me help you? I could have helped you." He sobbed openly though no one heard him. Sheldon had cleared the autopsy theater. "Aw, My Girl, Nikki." Reaching out, he went to touch her face, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She still looked perfect and he couldn't be the one to cause a flaw again.

The next day, Mac sat in his office reading the letter Nicole had left for him that outlined how to handle her case. Sheldon's report and the toxicology had confirmed suicide, which had only added to Don's grief, but he had finally been able to release the letter she had written to him. Hopefully, that would bring him some closure. In fact, he had been able to release all of the letters.

_Continue to see the 4 letters written by Nicole…_


	15. Suicide Note of Nicole Sullivan

The Suicide Letter of Nicole Sullivan

_To Whomever Finds My Body:_

_As I believe is policy, you will be required to call 911. When you do, please request that they send Detective Mac Taylor to process the scene along with Dr. Sheldon Hawkes, though processing the scene will not be necessary as this is a suicide._

_I, Nicole Catherine Sullivan, fully and without reservation, do solemnly declare that I have chosen to take my own life. As an officer of the court, I make this statement as my dying declaration. I have taken an overdose of Valium, approximately 5000 mg. There is no need for an autopsy and it is my wish that one not be performed so I may be buried exactly as I lay._

_That wish being stated, I know my fiancé, Detective Donald Flack, Jr., will request one. As he is my next of kin, his wishes should override mine. It is just my desire to only allow Dr. Sheldon Hawkes of the NYPD Crime Lab to perform said autopsy._

_My reasons for making this decision are too numerous and irrelevant to list in an open letter. Please know that I do not take this action lightly. I only choose this as I feel it is my only option left._

_Sincerely,_

N. Sullivan

_Nicole Catherine Sullivan, Esq._


	16. Goodbye Notes

Letter to Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

To be Read Prior to Autopsy

_Sheldon,_

_I know that you and I have had our disagreements, usually because you are trying to use that immense intellect and talent of yours to put a client of mine behind bars. Who knows, maybe a few of them even deserved to be put there. Anyway, that's not why I have addressed this private letter to you. I am writing this to you because need to speak to you as a medical professional so, from henceforth, this letter is to be considered privileged._

_I have requested you to perform my autopsy because I trust you and I know that both Don and Danny trust you as well. You also have something that is lacking from many of the other medical examiners, a heart. I know that you will be as respectful and tactful as you can be and won't do anything to hurt Don anymore than I all ready have._

_Once you do your examination, you will find two things I don't want disclosed in your report. I'm not asking you to lie as you will find that I, indeed, have taken an overdose of Valium, and that will be my official cause of death. I am asking you not to disclose the cancerous brain tumor or the fact that I have had sexual intercourse with two men in the last 24 hours. Those two things are irrelevant to my cause of death and therefore do not need to be disclosed._

_Three months ago, the day after my engagement party, I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Since then, it has been a daily struggle to remain normal, to think rationally, and to control my emotions. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to see the pity in anyone's eyes and the doctors thought that they could remove most of it, until the biopsy came back that it was cancer. I can no longer deal with the pain and my inability to regulate my personality._

_Please, Sheldon, spare both Don and Danny the pain of learning that I have not been in control of myself for the last three months. I know that you and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but you have been a good friend and colleague to both men. Please continue to be and withhold the information I am requesting. It is not medically relevant to my death._

_Thank you for doing this. I know that it will pain you to do so, as you are an ethical man, but it really is the best thing for everyone._

_All the best,_

N. Sullivan

_Nicole Catherine Sullivan, Esq._

Letter to Detective Mac Taylor

_Mac,_

_It has been a pleasure working with you for the past seven years. You always seem to be able to make the right decision even in tough situations and keep your head about you. You have also been someone that both Don and Danny admire, respect, and trust. This is why I know I can trust you to handle the investigation of my suicide and why I have made you the executor of my estate._

_Before we get to the reading of my will, though, there are a few things that I need you to see to. Knowing you, my letters were bagged and tagged awaiting Sheldon's finding of suicide. Now that he has confirmed the cause of death, please make sure that each recipient receives their private correspondence unopened. Also, I do hope my wishes were followed and Sheldon was given his first. There are a few things he needs to know before he cuts me open and my insides become my outsides._

_Second, please make sure that Danny doesn't begin backsliding. A lot of things have happened in the last three months that will effect him, but he will not show it outwardly, at least not in public. He won't want to admit that he still had feelings for me while his best friend is grieving. Those bottled up emotions in turn will lead him towards subconscious self-destructive behavior. As his mentor, please guide him towards a better outlet for his guilt and anger._

_Also, my Donny will want to bury himself in work so he doesn't feel anything. This is his drug of choice, as we both know. Please make sure that he at least goes out for a beer with the group at least twice a month, or else have Stella drag him out if you are too busy working yourself. He needs to know that his life is better without me around._

_Finally, I have established a money market account in your name to compensate you for services rendered. IAB cannot touch it, I've checked, and a senior partner at my firm, Norman Blake, has set it up as an irrevocable trust. It is yours as compensation and for no other reason._

_Thank you for all you've done and all you will do, Mac._

_All the best,_

N. Sullivan

_Nicole Catherine Sullivan, Esq._

Letter to Don Flack

_My Dearest Love,_

_I know it is pointless to tell you not to feel guilty, but I will try anyway. Please, Baby, don't feel guilty. This decision I made is not your fault. You have done nothing but love me unconditionally and for that I am eternally grateful. Also, you can sleep knowing that the last words you ever spoke to me were, 'I love you, Baby'. Know that I love you too._

_You have probably asked yourself a million whys and I am sorry for that. The simple answer is not so simple. I just couldn't fight any longer. I couldn't fight your father and I couldn't, in good conscious, marry you knowing that you alienated your family to be with me. I know that is no solace, but please try to use it to understand that nothing about this act is your fault. There is no one to blame for my decision._

_I want you to remember the good times we had together, Baby. I want you to hold tight to them as a reminder of how much I love you. I want you to remember how happy we were the first night at our house and how happy you made me when you proposed at Yankees Stadium. I still haven't looked at a Yankee game the same way._

_Now, on to the morbid stuff, and I am sorry that I have to do this, but I want to make this as painless as possible for you because this was my wish, Baby, my desire to go this way at this time. I want you to be able to deal with this the way you need to and not worry about anything else. When the time is right, when you are through all the cycles of grief, I want you to go see Norman Blake, a senior partner at the firm, and he will fill you in on the arrangements that I have made for you. Also, do not worry about the brownstone. I have seen to it that the rent has been paid for the next year. Hopefully, by that time, you will want to dip into the trust fund I have set up for you._

_I know how arrogant and selfish it sounds to presume that you will want anything to do with anything that I've touched, but I want you to know that everything I have done has been out of love and not wanting you to suffer. I know, I took the coward's way out, but I hope that you can forgive me and remember that I have loved you from the moment you first kissed me._

_Take care of yourself and don't bury yourself in cases. In time, you will realize that you are much better off without me._

_All my love,_

Nikki

Letter to Danny Messer

_Danny, Messy,_

_What is there to say? I'm sorry seems like such a cop out and doesn't even come close to easing the pain I know I have caused you over the years. Yes, the feelings were mutual, and damn if you didn't know how to push every one of my buttons both for good and bad, but what happened between us was one hell of a ride._

_Friday night was amazing, Danny. I made the mistake of remembering how much I loved you and it simply solidified the decision I had made before I walked in your door. Please, Messy, don't feel like anything that happened was your fault. There is nothing about this that is anyone's fault. We both needed closure and I needed to know if I was doing the right thing._

_We had our fun times and those are what I want you to remember. I want you to remember that time we went to Coney Island and got caught in the rain at the top of the Ferris wheel. I want you to remember the first time you kissed me when you were teaching me to play pool at that bar around the corner from the courthouse. Do not dwell on what you will perceive as the moments you screwed up. There is nothing you could have done to change my mind because there are a lot of reasons for my decision, none of which you could have talked me out of._

_This was my decision, Danny. I am the one who is unable to continue in this life and it has nothing to do with anything you did. The only thing you did was love me. OK, so there were those moments when you thoroughly annoyed me, but they only happened because you have always known me better than I have known myself._

_Messy, I love you. Find yourself a good woman who knows the difference between when you need to be left alone and when you need to be taken care of, one who is a lot more low maintenance than I was, and one who knows when to wake you when Don calls and when you need your sleep more than a trip to the batting cages._

_All my love,_

Nikki


End file.
